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Saturday, August 13, 2011

Media Outlets Examine Unlikely Coincidence That All DC Murders Occur In Same City

Puzzlement and frustration plague this local News Center which wishes to remain anonymous as employees peruse data, looking for a logical connection.

"We simply do not understand," says Kyrgyz intern Hazmat Omoshev, "Sometimes the murders we report in Atlanta really occur in Takoma -- why should the Medlantech region be any different? Is it all the computers?"

Nobody in the press pretends to understand, though many claim they do. But the important and privileged members of the Fourth Estate continue to work hard so that you may reap the rewards of being informed by their illustrious efforts.

Funding for this article is derived strictly from public sources. No embezzlement occurred in order to plagiarize this information.
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